the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize