You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize