good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
