You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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