oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
