I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
