And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
