mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
