He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
