so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
