And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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