Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
