Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i out mim tonsoeep
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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