I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
