I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
