If that was your dad, he is hot
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
