I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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