Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
