1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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