I love black thongs
Porn is love you can see.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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