Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize