Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
