I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
