That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
