bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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