Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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