You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
