Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
