shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
pray to the hookup gods
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
