Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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