I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
