fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I love having hate sex.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
