What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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