I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
