I'm really into asian looking animals
What a fucking waste of an outfit
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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