the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
