Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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