I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
