is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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