You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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