So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
