I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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