I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
