I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
