i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
