How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize