Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
