please come you make the beer taste better
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize