I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
