I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
