do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
