Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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