Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
