i don't like sucking hair
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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