I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
