i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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