Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
