I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
