Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize