I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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