She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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