hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
