Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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