no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
