I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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