he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
