YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
