Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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