What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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