do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
