i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
