it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
