So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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