the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
